“Life is short, but there is always time enough for courtesy.” –Ralph Waldo Emerson
Sir, I could not agree more. Which is why this week has been so infuriating.
Four times.
Four times I have been stood up by people who agreed to meet (by phone, IM or in person) at an arranged time.
Four times I was blown off.
The first person did so by oversleeping, which is forgivable — once — particularly since he later apologized. The others not only skipped our scheduled appointment, they failed to contact me in any way to proffer an excuse for their actions.
Is it so wrong to expect people to arrive promptly for a meeting or event? Or for them to reach out prior to the agreed upon time to say they’re going to be late or need to cancel? In every one of my encounters this week, I would have been more than happy to reschedule had I been told in advance that they couldn’t make it. Instead, I waited and waited, throwing away precious time for people who never appeared.
I’m not talking about the occasional tardiness here. I swear, I’m not that unreasonable. I understand that people may be a few minutes late if they spill coffee all over their clothes, get stuck in a traffic jam or slowed by inclement weather. But chronic lateness is disrespectful.
I’m not the only one who’s grown tired of such unreliable and unprofessional people. Earlier this week, I read an article by Greg Savage (“How Did It Get To Be ‘OK’ For People To Be Late For Everything?”). Savage, a leader in the global recruitment industry, pointed out that such behavior is becoming far too common. He provided examples of late friends, dawdling colleagues and even unpunctual strangers who still expected him to buy something or assist in an important matter.
“And it is not that we lead ‘busy lives.’ That’s a given, we all do, and it’s a cop out to use that as an excuse,” Savage wrote. “It’s simply that some people no longer even pretend that they think your time is as important as theirs. And technology makes it worse. It seems texting or emailing that you are late somehow means you are no longer late. Rubbish. You are rude. And inconsiderate.”
So apparently, I’m not the only one to experience this problem. Nor should I be faulted for being exasperated by people who just can’t seem to follow through on their promises. I respect their time; I don’t think it’s too much to ask that they respect mine.
Alas, good manners seem to have vanished. Any suggestions on how we can bring back common courtesy?
–The White Rabbit illustration by Sir John Tenniel, from Lewis Carroll’s “Alice in Wonderland, 1871. Used with permission.
