• practical magic house

    5 most common phrases overheard in the Walker-Weir household

    If you happened to be passing by the windows of our home, sitting at the dining room table or listening on the other end of the phone, you’re very likely to hear one of these statements:

     

    1. Get off the table! (Yes, this is directed at the cats, not M.)

    2. Sweet dreams. See also: Nighty night, rabbit. (Due to our opposite schedules, we rarely get the pleasure of sleeping in the same bed at the same time.)

    3. Kill ’em a lot! (M is a gamer. I slay people in fiction.)

    4. Five minutes. (Generally uttered after putting the kettle on for tea. For a snooze request, I ask for 10 minutes.)

    5. I love you, my heart. (Also: my own, my love, my sugar plum and sweetie pie. We’re foolish romantics. What can I say?)

  • When it comes to migraine relief, every little bit helps

    On Sunday night, I woke to a Level 8 migraine. On a scale of 1 to 10, a Level 8 headache features truly severe pain. Just imagine someone jamming an ice pick through your right temple and into the eyeball. Now, tack on light sensitivity, balance issues and nausea.

    Thanks a lot, Summer.

    After stumbling down the hallway to the bathroom, I donned my Cefaly device and returned to bed for a full treatment session. By the time it ended an hour later, the migraine was still tormenting my brain, but the pain had dropped to a Level 7. Even though my head continued to throb, a Level 7 headache meant I could muster enough strength to dress, walk downstairs, make some tea and soup and swallow the migraine meds that can only be taken with food.

    The damn migraine lasted for several more hours before abating around 2 a.m. And although it rebounded around sunrise, I was able to get some much-needed work done. For that, I must thank my little space tiara.

  • hand sanitizer

    5 things that have changed in my life since the pandemic began

    There are surely more than five, but here are the highlights:

    1. I was watching an episode of “Fringe” recently where the protagonists encountered someone they described as a germophobe. The character earned this designation because her home had hermetically-sealed windows, an air purification system with HEPA filters and bottles of hand sanitizer in every room. Turns out she had a son who was immunocompromised, but in my mind, she was just prepared for COVID-19.

    2. Thanks to the toilet paper shortages of 2020 and 2021, I’m now a convert to the bidet. Every toilet in every home I live in from this point forward will have one.

    3. I used to love going to the grocery store; now, I exclusively use Hannaford To-Go and Instacart with drop-off service at my front door. Pre-pandemic, I’d spend a good hour planning meals, checking the pantry for ingredients and compiling a shopping list for two weeks’ worth of meals. After driving to the store, I’d wander up and down the aisles, filling my cart while listening to music or Zombies Run. Then, I’d bring the groceries home, unpack the car and put everything away. Going to the store was an event, one that took up an entire morning.

    Due to the pandemic, I haven’t been inside a grocery store since February 2020. However, buying groceries online is actually pretty convenient. I particularly enjoy creating shopping lists and hitting the “buy again” button. The orders arrive at my door within a pre-selected two-hour window and I can do other things while a well-compensated shopper compiles my cart and delivers each order. Shopping this way means I’m also less tempted to purchase items from pretty displays and shelves of impulse buys.

    4. Important errands and appointments are now scheduled between surges. As soon as New Hampshire returns to low transmission of the virus (or as close an approximation as I can estimate since the powers-that-be refuse to collect accurate data), I cold-call doctors, dentists, vets, librarians, handymen, etc., to take care of all the things that need to be done before the next coronavirus variant causes everyone to become sick again.

    5. Me in 2019: No one needs to pay for more than one or two streaming services.

    Me in 2022: Since I can no longer go to the movies, I subscribe to every streaming service!

  • Baby bluebells

    Quote of the day

    “Gardening is easy. Whenever your plants have a problem, you simply have to figure out if it’s too little sun, too much sun, a virus, bacteria, a pest, too much water, too little water, the wrong soil, the wrong bedtime story, ancient witchcraft or the wrong pH level.” –Jelena Woehr

  • Broken windshield

    The day I realized I was not immortal

    Thirty years ago, I almost died.

    I was 17, newly graduated from high school and back in the Midwest for a wedding. It was the beginning of July and oh so very hot. Friends from high school — my first high school — wanted to cool off a bit so we hopped inside an old Ford Bronco and drove to the city to attend the Taste of Chicago.

    If you’ve never been, the Taste is a massive food and music festival held right on Lake Michigan. For three days, vendors sell all sorts of delicious treats, from grilled burgers and polish sausage to funnel cakes and ice cream, while a wide variety of musical acts rock out from numerous stages. Although it’s often very crowded, the breeze off the lake provides a cooling respite. Once darkness falls, the city puts on a huge fireworks display. I’ve been many times and I can still hear the sound of the pyrotechnic booms echoing between the buildings. The noise rings in your ears even as the vibration shudders inside your chest.

    My friends and I spent several hours at the Taste, eating and making merry. As the sun started to set, however, we decided to skip the fireworks and head home, thus avoiding the sprawling lines of traffic that transformed the process of leaving the city into an hours-long process.

    It was on the way back to the suburbs that the accident occurred. Even now, decades later, I can still remember everything as if it happened in slow motion. Climbing into the front passenger seat of an older model Ford Bronco, one friend in the driver’s seat and three others crammed in the back. Listening to them rib me for being a Girl Scout because I always donned a seatbelt when none of them did. Loud music playing on the radio as we cruised on home. The sky turning from blue to orange to red before fading to black.

    Suddenly, a small car in front of us hit the brakes, its rear lights glaring at us, demanding that we, too, stop. There wasn’t enough room to do so and my friend instinctively reacted by swerving into the right lane. Unfortunately, at that very moment, another car was pulling out of forest preserve parking lot and into traffic. Its grill crunched against my door and sprained my right thumb. My friend couldn’t see the car that plowed into us but he felt the impact and immediately responded by turning the steering wheel back to the left, only this time he overcompensated, crossing two lanes of road at 45 mph and into oncoming traffic.

    The headlights of an older model car, one of those solidly built boats from the 1970s, blinded us seconds before impact. That driver was going 50 mph when she smashed into us, head on. The physics of two fast-moving objects crashing into each other at high rates of speed soon became evident.

    We hit that car so hard, the long front end crumpled all the way to the windshield and crushed the driver’s foot. My friend who was driving crushed the steering wheel with his chest, bending the strong metal like it was aluminum foil. The two friends who sat behind us slammed into our seats but the one who was perched in the middle flew forward into the front and into windshield. Then he fell, half-conscious, in my lap.

    Thanks to the seatbelt, I was fine.

    First responders soon arrived and removed our driver from the wreckage. As they began treating him, I managed to climb out and give my statement to the police. In the end, I was the only person in the three cars who was coherent enough to explain what had happened.

    Everyone was then separated into different ambulances, based on the severity of injuries, and sent to area hospitals. I ended up watching the fireworks through the window of the ambulance with the friend who had broken the windshield with his head.

    The emergency room doctors treated my friend for a concussion. I received some meds and ointment for the 2nd degree seatbelt burn across my chest. While the admins finished processing my paperwork, I heard the doctors tell my parents that the seatbelt had saved my life. If I hadn’t been wearing it, they said, I would’ve surely gone through the windshield and died.

    The physical pains from the accident were rough but tolerable, particularly in light of the alternative. I did suffer some mental distress afterwards when my mother insisted on driving past the scene of the accident. I also nearly had a panic attack a year later when the film “Patriot Games” came out. There’s a scene in it where a woman and her child are being chased by bad guys and they crash into a highway divider. The accident was filmed from within their car and it was so well done that I instantly experienced a flashback to my own crash.

    Two weeks after I returned home to Florida, in that limbo time between leaving high school and entering college, I spent an evening hanging out at my friend Steve’s house. Another pal stopped by and asked us if we’d heard about a classmate’s car accident. She was a real sweet girl with wild hair and a wide smile. I asked how she was doing, assuming that like me, she was banged up but fine.

    “Her funeral was tonight,” he said.

    I was, of course, horrified. But it was only in that moment that I truly realized I was not immortal. None of us are. Death could come at any time and its arrival is rarely fair or understandable.