“If you put a lasagna on top of another lasagna, it’s no longer two lasagnas. It’s one giant lasagna. That is the power of lasagna.” –Bob Heller
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Dreaming of a white Christmas
It’s that time of year — Christmas in July — and I’ve got mistletoe on my mind.
The maples and elms are full of leaves, but I’m already thinking of snow-covered pines, silver tinsel and golden garland. The fireworks have barely stopped echoing in the sky and I’m dreaming about taking our annual trek to the tree farms to find the perfect evergreen and driving around town to look at all the beautiful displays of light.
I want to plan my Christmas menu, combining traditional favorites with soon-to-be future classics. Or smell freshly-baked cookies that must be eaten warm with a large glass of milk. I’d like to trade in this tumbler of sweet tea for a massive mug of hot cocoa tinged with cool peppermint.
I long to sit on the couch, snuggled under blankets and cats, while black and white holiday movies play on the television. I’d much rather light a fire while a wintery wind howls outside than turn on the air conditioner once again.
If I concentrate, I can almost hear the silver bells that ring when the front door opens. The scratch of pens on paper writing pleas to Santa Claus or sending good cheer to family and friends. I yearn to listen to the carols of old while decorating the house in Currier and Ives fashion or wrapping presents in tartan paper and shiny bows.
But since it is Summer, I shall have to settle for placing the order for our annual ornament, knowing that in a few short months, it will be added to our family’s collection.
I can’t wait!
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Note to self: Panic is not helpful.
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Bracing for the future
After fainting last fall and breaking my face, I had to undergo extensive dental work.
Anyone who’s spent significant time in the chair understands how unpleasant this process is, ranging from routine and annoying to “Running Man” torture. My time there has involved several pulled teeth, healing from a fractured jaw, agonizing pain, high anxiety from needles, the application and tightening of braces and the addition of elastics.
Unfortunately, the amount of dental work I need to be done is nowhere near complete. I am, in fact, facing at least another year of it and that’s before the braces are removed and two teeth are pierced into my jaw with metal screws. By that time, I’m told my underbite will be a thing of the past. My teeth will be properly aligned and I’ll be able to live a normal life again (albeit one that involves wearing a retainer for the next 50 years).
Alas, eating is no longer a pleasurable experience. Due to the repairs, I cannot bite into anything. Food must be cut into small pieces and carefully chewed. I cannot consume nuts, popcorn or almost anything crunchy or chewy because that could easily damage the braces. After each appointment, the limitations on my diet are even more substantial and I have to subsist on soft foods like mashed potatoes and applesauce.
When I am able to eat a proper meal, everything gets caught in my braces or between the wires and my teeth, which creates uncomfortable pressure on my entire mouth. And as soon as I’m finished, I then brush, floss and reapply the rubber bands to the metal brackets.
Eat, rinse, repeat.
This whole affair has not only been unpleasant but it’s also taken a detrimental toll on my finances. Yet I push on because really… there’s no alternative. I must be patient and hope it’ll all be worth it in the end.
In the meantime, I don’t even like to smile anymore.
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The Grumpy Gardener
“There’s a fine line between gardening and madness.” —Cliff Clavin in “Cheers”
I honestly can’t remember the last time I went for a drive on my own. It had to have been more than a year ago. Oh sure, I’ve gone on drives with M during the pandemic and I’ve driven my car to the dentist’s office and back. That’s pretty much it, though. I haven’t pumped my own gas or listened to my favorite playlist or turned up the volume on the stereo to 42 since long before coronavirus came and wreaked havoc on the world.
That changed today.
I had a specific list of plants in mind and at least two nurseries for destinations. Once the morning rain storm passed, I programmed Google Maps to show directions to Concord via the country roads and headed out.
In my youth, I drove on freeways to go everywhere. I wanted to get to places and get to them quickly. I guess you can say I’ve always been a bigger fan of the destination than the journey.
Now that I’m middle-aged, I’ve come to take a more relaxed point of view. I still prefer to arrive than to travel, only now there just doesn’t seem any point in hurrying. Why not take the road less traveled and see the sights? Visit parts of the countryside that have remained unknown to me, even after living in the area for four and a half years? Plus, Mother Nature is in full Spring bloom right now and you can see that much more keenly when you’re driving 40 mph on a backroad than 70 mph on the interstate.
At Cole Gardens, I loaded up on good peat-free compost for the catawba rhododendron (Boursault), the buddleja davidii (butterfly bush — Summer beauty) and the wildflower garden I plan to grow in the backyard. Gotta help out our pollinators! I also picked up some cooking herbs (basil, rosemary, thyme, catmint, parsley, lavender), two pinkish-white geraniums, a couple of red pepper plants since only a few of my seeds germinated in the basement, two pots of shasta daisies, a large pot of baby’s breath and four pots of my favorite night sky petunias.
At Faulkner’s, I purchased a medium-sized raspberry bush and a medium-sized blueberry bush, both of which are self-pollinators and should do well on the deck in full sun. Hopefully, they’ll bear fruit this year.
I always try to take one big risk — a way to push my gardening skills to the next level — and this year I decided to buy a peony (Paeonia lactiflora – Raspberry Sundae) that’s just about to flower. Over the winter, I planted a bunch of peonies and tulips I purchased via mail order but so far the tubers haven’t blossomed. Perhaps they will next year.
Everything will go into containers this weekend. Next week, I hope to transplant all the basement plugs that survived to the leaf stage and plant out my direct sowers. Since the weather is expected to be very hot, however, I make no promises.
I am admittedly, a grumpy gardener with a very black thumb. During the course of the pandemic, I’ve been studying Monty Don’s books and watching a ton of gardening shows via Britbox and Youtube. Although I’ve mastered the Aerogardening method, I’m bound and determined to improve my skills outside and in dirt. So if you want to follow my gardening adventures, and misadventures, you can read my gardening journal here.
