• 42 candles

    “Without creation, what are we but stalled in life?”

    November 23, 2015 / No Comments

    Cake layers are baking. Frosting’s in the fridge. In a couple of hours, I shall assemble the two and make a blackout cake to rival anything found at the local bakery. Once topped with candles, I shall make my wish, extinguish the flames and celebrate turning 42 by eating the chocolate-y creation.

    A dear friend of mine called not long after midnight to wish me a happy birthday. He does this every year because he is both thoughtful and cognizant of the fact that I’m actually awake at that hour. When I mentioned my plans to bake a birthday cake, he was a bit taken aback. However, as I explained to him, baking is a joy for me. Creating something delicious out of ordinary ingredients is the perfect way to start a new year.

    As any artist or writer, baker or filmmaker, musician or mother can tell you, the process of creation is both difficult and magical. Yet having the freedom to do so, in any form, is not something I take for granted. It is that freedom I bear in my mind as I write these words. It is that freedom I recall when I see stories about journalists being imprisoned and killed for doing their jobs. Or when I read about the planned executions of poets. Or when I hear about musicians, and their fans, fleeing gunfire.

    Why anyone would want to halt the beauty of creation is beyond me. But as I begin another anniversary of existence on this planet, I vow to spend more time creating, and less time stressing out about those who are only able to destroy that which they do not understand.

    –Quote by Dhani Jones. Photo by Vladvvm. Used with permission.

  • fire

    Burning

    November 22, 2015 / No Comments

    “In order to rise
    From its own ashes
    A phoenix
    First
    Must
    Burn.”
    —Octavia E. Butler

    –Photo by Valera Taljutov. Used with permission.

  • Paris, Sera, stress and a smile

    November 15, 2015 / No Comments

    It’s been dismal here in the Walker-Weir household this week. As you can imagine, M and I are saddened and angered by the Friday the 13th terror attacks in Paris. I shall not participate in the debates that are already raging on social media; I simply have too much work to do. But please know that during every moment I spent covering the explosions and the shootings, the manhunt and the worldwide response, the victims and their families were always in my thoughts.

    We also received the distressing news that our youngest cat Seraphina — a.k.a. Sweet Sera — has cancer. There was a lump, there was a biopsy and then there was a diagnosis that was basically a death sentence. I’m still reeling from the news as she and I are very close and I had hoped to have her in my life for many years to come. In the past, M and I have lost cats to kidney problems, liver failure and old age, but this will be the first time we’ve had to face the big C. If any of my readers have experience in dealing with this, please feel free to share your thoughts/stories/guidance.

    These two experiences were amplified by what I can only describe as sudden onset, stress-induced insomnia. My thoughts simply refuse to stop whirling in my brain. And when I finally manage to reach Morpheus’ realm, the experience is not restful. I do have a vacation coming up soon; perhaps I’ll be able to decompress then.

    One ray of positivity… in the midst of my sorrow, I received a kind note from a dear friend. That missive raised my spirits and talking to her on the phone boosted them even more. To pay her kindness forward, I offer this small bit of advice: If you have a friend in need, someone who’s struggling with illness, loss, financial difficulties or really anything troubling, reach out. Even the smallest gesture can make a huge difference.

  • Exiled from the tribe

    November 10, 2015 / No Comments

    Do you ever find yourself living in Opposite Land, the remote station on the outskirts of the civilization known as Popular Opinion?

    Perhaps you’re an atheist surrounded by people who practice religion. Maybe you’re an anti-sports geek in a family of football fanatics. Or perchance you just don’t think bacon is the be-all-end-all of food (Quelle horreur!). Your only crime is having a different point of view and yet being on the opposing team, as it were, can sometimes lead to exile.

    In such situations, how do you respond? Do you ever reconsider your stance? Study the issue again, and check yourself for missteps? Do you listen to the other side’s arguments? And after all of that, do you stand up for what you believe in, even if it means being banished?

    Alternatively, do you change your opinion to go along with the crowd? Or pretend to adopt a belief for which you’ve long disagreed in order to avoid conflict? Or maybe you opt for silence during such discussions instead of openly dissenting?

    We’ve all been ostracized to Opposite Land at one point or another. But in the end, when do you choose to take a stand?

    –Photo by John Nettleship. Used with permission.

  • brown hourglass

    Once upon a time, in a pool hall in Florida…

    November 3, 2015 / No Comments

    On this day 25 years ago, I met my best friend and my high school sweetheart. At the time I had no idea that a chance encounter would lead to friendship and love. And now, a quarter of a century has passed. Where has the time gone?

    Amy and I were nearly inseparable for a good long while. She and I knew each other so well that we could finish each other’s sentences. Hell, half the time, we could read each other’s minds. As for Chris, he was my first love. He set the romantic standard for all others to follow, and for most of our relationship, I wanted nothing more than to be near him.

    Even now, I’m still struck by the fact that they’re both gone. They were such strange and unique people, kind and passionate, funny and flawed. But most of all, so alive. I have lived a lifetime without them, unable to pick up the phone and catch up, or hop in the car and go for a drive. In grief, I remain friends with their ghosts, but it is not the same.

    What I wouldn’t give for just a few more hours together. We could eat cheap pizza, play Phase 10, listen to great music and talk about anything and everything. And when it was time for them to once again return to the land of Death, I could give them both big breasty hugs before saying farewell.

    Today, it’s their hugs I miss the most.