“All men are bastards.”
If you’re a fan of Meg Ryan rom-coms, you may recognize that line. It’s from the film, “French Kiss,” and it’s said, with utter disgust, by Ryan after her character is dumped, robbed and scammed by men on two continents.
Of course, not all men are bastards. The heroine of the film simply encountered a few bad ones and they gave her the impression that all members of the gender were scoundrels. But given her character’s limited experience, it’s understandable why she felt that way.
I’m reminded of this line whenever I hear a talking head or op-ed columnist declare “All XXX are….” Any such generalization is bound to be based on limited personal experience, and thus unlikely to contain much truth, let alone apply to huge swaths of people.
It is so easy to stereotype an entire group based on a select few (particularly when those few are the bad apples). Yet doing so is not only inaccurate, it reflects poorly on us, not on the group being labeled. Stereotyping is a trap of convenience, laziness and irrationality.
If we took the time to meet more people outside of our small social circles, if we befriended folks from other walks of life, if we broadened our horizons by traveling and reading, if we shared a meal or even a cup of tea with those who seemed so different from us… well, I wonder if we would view them in a different light.
Which is why I developed the “not all men are bastards” principle. It’s quite simple, really. Whenever you hear — or are about to espouse — a stereotype about a large group of people, stop and take a breath. During that second or two of calm, remind yourself that this is a “not all men are bastards” moment and reevaluate the about-to-be-presented point of view. Is it a wise conclusion based on years of study or merely an assumption drawn from a small sample size or single incident? More importantly, if the tables were turned, would you want others to pre-judge you based on a stereotype?
By the way, if you’re interested in learning more about the film mentioned above, here’s the trailer:
