I’ve never been a fan of movie ratings.
In America, ratings are designed to aid parents in choosing appropriate material for their children to consume. But the people hired to assign the G, PG, PG-13, R and NC-17 notations tend to be far too narrow-minded and puritanical to provide an accurate overview of a movie’s contents. If I was a mother, I doubt I’d pay much attention to these arbitrary labels.
Now warnings, warnings are a different story. Warnings can be helpful .. and humorous.
“This show contains scenes that some viewers may find disturbing. Viewer discretion advised.”
That’s rather vague. Define disturbing.
“Intended for mature audiences only.”
At what age is one “mature”? I know some 40-year-olds who wouldn’t qualify.
“This program contains language.”
No way!
Monty Python’s Flying Circus had a great one:
“There are scenes of violence, people’s heads being ripped off and their toe nails being pulled out in slow motion. Then there’s a scene where you can see EVERYTHING, but my friend says it’s just all in the way he’s holding the spear.”
This week, I spotted a hilarious warning. It applied to the new teen zom-rom-com “Warm Bodies.” Although the film is rated PG-13 (parents strongly cautioned), the actual contents of the film include:
“Gun violence and mild zombie chomping.”
What exactly is “mild” zombie chomping anyway? Do they just nibble or is actual chewing involved? Either way, consider yourself warned.
