As written by our cats (Georgina, Treacle, Trifle, Choux, Chai and Pepper):
1. Woobies must be thrown on demand. They must also be customized to each cat’s desires.
2. Food must be served in a timely fashion, twice a day, on specific bowls or plates. Each meal must be catered to each individual cat’s needs/wishes.
3. Snacks must be served at least once a day.
4. If you lock the door, we will open it. Don’t try us.
5. There must be at least two or three condos in every room. Move them at least twice a year to maintain our interest.
6. All litter boxes must be frequently scooped. You shouldn’t grow upset if we use them as soon as you’re done cleaning them.
7. If a mouse enters our domain, we claim the right to kill it. Torturing it first is also our prerogative.
8. In warmer seasons, all windows must be open so that we can watch Bird and Squirrel TV and enjoy sunshine commercials.
9. In cooler seasons, people must wear a blanket upon request. We will sleep on it (and you) when it suits our needs. You may not remove us from a lap until we decide it is time to wake. (Bathroom breaks may be allowed — keyword being “may.”) Also, use the fireplace more.
10. All your boxes are belong to us.
