The recently departed Lou Reed once said, “It always bothers me to see people writing ‘RIP’ when a person dies. It just feels so insincere and like a cop-out. To me, ‘RIP’ is the microwave dinner of posthumous honours.”
As was his wont, Reed was able to succinctly sum up his thoughts with a clever turn of phrase. However, I have to disagree with the sentiment behind his words.
People tend to die in three ways:
* suddenly and unexpectedly
* after a period of illness
* peacefully while sleeping
The first death is so startling in its appearance that those left behind can barely comprehend the unforeseen loss. Sure, we’re all going to die, but these deaths (homicides, accidents, natural disasters, fire) occur in ways that tend to be both violent and painful. To the deceased, I say rest in peace because light knows you didn’t die that way.
The only silver lining of the second mode of death is that it frequently offers the blessing of extra time: time to get one’s affairs in order, time to do one last thing on the bucket list, time to say goodbye. However, the dying process can be fraught with distress. Witness enough of these deaths — bad deaths — and you too may find yourself wishing the deceased peace in their eternal sleep.
To those who have the good fortune to die in their sleep, I simply say rest in peace and farewell. Silently I hope that their last batch of dreams were pleasant ones.
–Photo of the Granary Burying Ground in Boston by Chaval Brasil. Used with permission.
