My youngest cat, Pepper, loves to be invisible. She thinks that if she’s underneath a piece of paper or inside a box, you cannot see her (even if a paw or ear or tail is still showing), and thus she’s invincible.
I admit total responsibility for this. Every time Pepper hides underneath a piece of paper or inside a box, I behave as though she’s done the ultimate vanishing act.
“Where’s Pepper??? She was just here a minute ago and now she’s gone. She must be invisible!”
Although I spend a lot of time online, I feel as though no one can see me when I’m at home. The house is my version of Pepper’s paper or box; it’s the one place where I am generally unseen by most of the world and yet able to accomplish almost anything I set my mind to.
On those rare occasions when I do leave home, I tend to stick to the fringes. I go to places where people rarely congregate. And, due to the summer surge of COVID-19 infections (along with my latest disastrous dental issue), I wear a mask whenever I’m in public and around others.
Weirdly, I feel more seen when I wear a mask now because no one else is doing so. Apparently, most people are cool with repeatedly catching COVID and are unwilling to take even the smallest of precautions to avoid it. Since I do wear a mask, I stand out. In the past few years, I’ve also noticed that having a coughing fit in public puts an unwanted spotlight on me, masked or not.
All of this is to say that I’ve not become agoraphobic since the pandemic began. I don’t feel an irrational fear about leaving the house (unless I’m seeing a medical professional who plans to use needles on me). Nor have I become less social. I still chat with friends, meet online with my book group and enjoy dates with M.
But, like Pepper, I’ve begun to enjoy being invisible. At home, I feel loved, comforted and unseen. Or as The Whimsical Muse recently noted:
2 Comments
Courtney Mroch
Oh my gosh, Jade! Pepper in her cuddle bed….AHHHHH!!!! SO cute!!!! And thank you for sharing The Whimsical Muse’s musings. Like you, that is TOTALLY my dream life right there. What a brilliant job he did putting those words together!!!
Also like you, I find myself more and more of a homebody, by choice, these days. I do like to travel though. (Once I’m finally wherever we’re going. The process of getting anywhere has become more daunting, and I miss my cat when we leave. And my dratted IBS issues limit me/cause me stress.) Also, I enjoy spending time/exploring with Wayne, who is the opposite of a homebody, so I force myself out to be with him. But there is always a huge sigh of relief when I’m back in the comfort of home. If it was up to me, I probably would stay home 90% of the time. (I do have to get out to play pickleball though! lol)
The other thing is, people are more amped up these days. Not that I’m psychic or what have you, but I definitely am hyper-sensitive to other people’s energies and sometimes it’s overwhelming. It’s why I’ve taken to shopping 1st thing when a store opens. The less people I’m around, the better.
Mostly I just want to say I loved this. Could totally relate. And I “see” you, sister!
Jade Walker
I miss travel too, especially overseas. But the idea of flying anywhere right now — no thanks! (Too much money, too much stress, too many delays, planes falling apart, people acting crazy, too much possibility of arriving at my destination with an illness, etc.)
Traveling is M’s favorite thing in the world. But we’re very different travelers. He loves doing 10 countries in 10 days. Me? I’d rather pick a spot, rent a cottage and stay for a month so I can fully explore everything. Of course, the idea of being gone for a month is also daunting because I would also miss my kitties.
Can you send me a vampire for Halloween this year? One bite, and I’ll be immortal. Then I won’t have to worry about losing time 🙂