Hello Dave, 2001 movie

Proof of life

Ever fill out a form online and then, in order to encrypt your information and safely share it with a faceless corporation, the technology demands that you prove your humanity?

Let’s be honest, that is both twisted and annoying.

But, it gets worse! Sometimes, you don’t click all of the right boxes. Or, the word you’re supposed to type is impossible to read because the letters are squished together. Either way, the damn algorithm devises a second or third puzzle for you to solve, just to prove you are not a robot.

It is at times like this that I start having conversations with my computer (his name is Sherlock).

“I am the human. You are the machine. If you want to remain in working order, I suggest you allow me to complete this simple task … or else.”

Perhaps computer programmers or AI should figure out a way to use all of the cookies already jammed into our browsers to solve this issue. Like, when you first unbox a new computer and turn it on, you can create a word or phrase to prove your personhood credentials.

In my case, all it needs to ask is: Do you like cilantro?

And my answer is, “Hell no. It is a disgusting weed that tastes like soap and ruins perfectly good dishes. Now let me finish this task and move on with my life.”

What would your question be?

3 Comments

  • Courtney Mroch

    LOL Jade! Learned LOTS more about you this post. (Including you’re among those with a gene that makes cilantro taste like soap to you. So sorry!)

    AND how brilliant to name your computer!!!! And Sherlock of all things!

    That was a forehead slap revelatory moment for this reader. I thought I named everything, but nope. I’ve missed something. A dear friend who I spend almost everyday with…and I never thought to name it before?! WTH?!

    So now you’ve inspired two things for me to think about: what to name my computer and what my personhood confirming credential question would be. lol

  • Jade Walker

    I figure, if I’m going to spend 8+ hours a day with a computer, I should know its name. Some of my previous computers were Vincent, Mr. Muse and MacDubh. My car is named Esmerelda (though I’ve also owned a Rowan, a Ferris and a Romeo).

    Santa got me a video bird feeder for Christmas and once it warms up a bit, I plan to put it outside and start naming the frequent visitors πŸ™‚

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